I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
