u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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