how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
