are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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