also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
