went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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