She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
