so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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