Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
