I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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