i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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