people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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