All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
