The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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