apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
