This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
