If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So vagazzling was a success
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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