Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
