ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
