You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
