Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Rumble strips road head = magical
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
