The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just google imaged poop.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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