youre lurking in front of me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
