It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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