Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
