The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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