just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
