I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
