Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
