i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
