How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
