im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Screwed.edu
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
