just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Someone signed my nipple.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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