i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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