She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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