Moan for me like Helen Keller
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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