I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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