We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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