jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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