So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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