I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
