Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
