idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
