Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We need to get me chipped asap
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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