my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
