Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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