so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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