I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
