he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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