this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was confusing and full of hummus
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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