told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
