at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
