it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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