i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
false alarm, still single
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
